i remember "making a deal" with God.
(mistake number one)
if God was going to keep me in Arkansas over the summer then i was going to use that time to invest in peoples lives.
obviously, i didnt keep my end of the bargain.
actually, i didnt even come close.
i abandoned the only ONE who is completely consistent to me.
i abandoned my love so i could love the world.
i knowingly rejected God and went on my way.
as some of you know, things didnt work out to well.
now, im faced with the decisions i made.
i cannot take back what i did.
my reputation is skewed.
my heart is darkened.
and i can no longer shine.
i want people to see Christ in me.
i dont want to be an example.
i just want people to know that i love Jesus Christ.
people have seen me.
the way i act, the way i talk, the way i live.
and i know they dont see Him.
i dont know if people will ever see me the same way.
im ashamed.
i cant take back what i did last summer.
but today is new.
and i will continue.
i will love people.
-mk
forgive me.