
Here I go again.
Last year. I dont know why I keep bringing this up. I guess im still learning from it, or maybe im still regretting it.
I was a depressed/confused girl last year. I dreamed so much. I dreamed, but it wasnt good for me. I dont want to get into details, but I wanted something soo bad that I placed it before God. I lost faith for a while. And the thing is, I knew it wasnt there, and I tryed to get it back, I tryed. But I couldnt fight through my desire. I had to learn that the only way I was going to get through this, was to give it, completely to God. So thats what I did, one night, while I was on the beach, I just let it go. Ive always heard "just give it to God" but Ive never fully had to do that before, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The desire I had had taken over my life completely, so basically, I just had to start over. Its still something I struggle with everyday ,and unfortunately Ive walked away from God lately so the stuggle is getting harder. Hes still there though, waiting for me. I think Ill go back. Hes been missing me and Ive been missing Him.
A close friend of mine, recently brought up the fact, that something is missing from me that I had last year. I know what it is now. I lost a dream. And its right at my fingers tips but God is holding me.